So Rebecca has been on the "down low" (yes please give me some street cred for that) for some time but it's time to dust off those computer keys and bring back some laughter into all your lives!
A NewYear and I am confident there will be tons of craziness in 2012 to write about so I need to flex up the dragon nailed fingers and let's get back into this.
A slight recap of some of the more notorious articles of 2011 that I am sure you all read way to much about when they happened so I won't say much about them other than a few Rebecca nuggets.
Lindsay Lohan - girrrlll, you went from being a cute freckled little thing in Parent Trap to a messed up, methed up, teeth jacked up, over bleached dried out bale of hay looking haired thing that clearly needs to just lay low for awhile. So do us a favor in 2012 and stay home with your junkie self and do all the drugs you want - just stop flaunting it in public and making yourself look like a high dollar crackhead.
Kardashians - I lump you all into one because let's face it, there isn't much that one of you does that ALL of you are not involved in. You must get group rates for botox, brazilians and eyebrow waxing. If only Bruce hadn't gone off and branched away from the family surgeon and gotten himself all jacked up looking like he's made of the same "plastic fantastic" shit that Stretch Armstrong was in the 70's. But back to the ladies (and yes I use that term loosely). I'm not sure what the fascination is with the two wanting nothing but black athletes, but I can understand that a lot more than Kourtney and her yuppie want to be baby daddy Scott. I want to believe that boy is blind since he dresses like a yuppie designer in the 1980's threw up all over him. I mean what does she see in that douche bag? He dresses like an nerd with ADHD, spend even 5 minutes with him and you will feel like you need to take a shower, and Kourtney actually spend enough time with this guy to get pregnant with his child? At least there is one up side to it all - when the kid gets a few years older him and Scott will have plenty to do since they will both be on the same maturity level.
Charlie Sheen - not going to even waste my precious manicured fingers to type about him....Lord knows we have seen and heard enough about him to last us through 2012.
Bin Laden - it took us awhile, it wasn't very pretty, but we finally got ya.
Casey Anthony - let's just get down to the basics. She DID IT, we all know she DID IT, she knows she DID IT, and when she dies, her and OJ can sit together in Hell talking about how the DID IT.
And those are just five of some of the thousands of "f-d up" stories of 2011. I could go into detail on all the celebrity breakups (yawn), or the extreme weather that occurred (even Rebecca has a moral compass and knows that's off limits as far as humor), or all the politicians that got caught with their weiners out (yes, that was a classic weiner joke). But we have all year for those type of things too look back on and I'm sure many more in 2012.
So here's to a great, CRAZY 2012 Bitches!!!
And that's the latest from Rebecca....keeping it real.
